In the bedroom AND in your life.
If you're feeling unfulfilled in your life overall, if you're feeling like you don't know yourself anymore and if you're feeling like your sole purpose is working and parenting, then you gotta read on...
Let's rewind it back a fair few years. I was working my little booty off trying to get my yoga career off the ground. Teaching WAY too many classes (I didn't have a day off). Showing up to my relationship at the time tired and grumpy, with zero libido and probably zero patience too.
All I wanted to do on my weekends was sleep and zone out with Netflix and chocolate. My partner at the time was getting a business off the ground too, so we were hardcore hustle. We didn't focus on our relationship AT ALL, we weren't having the important conversations nor the connection to sustain our love.
I wasn't getting what I needed and neither were they. I didn't take the time to look after myself, aside from going to the gym, I had very little self care time. And when I did, I felt guilty because we had so little time together, I didn't want to take away from that (sound familiar).
But by not looking after myself, by not seeing my friends or treating myself to a facial or meditating by the beach on my own, I was doing my relationship a disservice. I wasn't serving myself and I definitely wasn't serving my partner.
By not putting myself FIRST I was essentially putting myself last. How are you going to show up to your relationship if you can't even show up for yourself?
When I came out of that relationship, I dove head first into finding who I was again. I had completely gotten lost in the last few years of my marriage, trying to save it, trying to do my work, trying to build a business. I was fucking exhausted and I didn't know where to begin repairing myself and my life.
It was a rock bottom, hard as fuck moment when I had to take a good look at myself and my life, where I hadn't put myself first, where I hadn't asked for what I needed, where I hadn't shown up intimately (for myself or my partner).
I started from the bottom. With some serious self care. I took up hip hop dance classes. I worked out six days a week. I went for so many barefoot beach walks. I ate well and started socially drinking again, after years of never going out. I got bought new clothes and showed up to events and had a bloody ball. I stopped taking myself for granted and started enjoying life.
I also did a fuck tonne of work on myself, I got energetic healing and did yoni mapping therapy and read books and meditated and wrote and followed inspirational and spiritual accounts on socials and cleansed myself daily.
With this came a sense of confidence, of purpose. I started to feel into who I was. I realised I hadn't been putting myself first ANYWHERE in my life, so did a 180 and put myself firs every damn day.
And sexually, I started to lean into what I wanted, rather than just accepting what was on offer. I learnt to language my desires, however awkwardly they came out. I got curious about my sexuality and about pleasure and how I hadn't been tapping into this part of myself at all.
After the yoni mapping therapy, my desire for sexual fulfilment was insatiable. I couldn't wait to share that energy with the right people, that thirst for physical connection was untameable.
I met Luke and straight up asked for what I wanted in bed and guess what? The majority of the time, I do cum first. He honours my orgasm and my pleasure, he understands the power of our sexual connection. He reads books on cunnilingus, this human gets it.
With Luke, I set a boundary right up front. I choose myself every time, no matter how much I love and adore and respect you. Setting that boundary shows that. I want to be my full self, so I am going to pour my energy into being my best with and without you.
It works. I have never felt more me, more free. If I don't put myself first (and to be honest, if he doesn't put himself first) our relationship is rocky. We need to look after ourselves, always. To not get lost in our relationships and forget about our needs.
If we suffer, they suffer. If we come first, then they can come with us.
Is it about time you put yourself first?
If you're wondering how the FUCK you do this whilst in a long term relationship, then book a free call with us and we'll introduce you to our signature program which will show you this and so much more!